May 13, 2002 - Dirty, Dirty, Dirty
So I went into work this morning, and for whatever reason, was a bit more awake than usual. And in that awake state, I noticed my cube area was a bit.... messy. Disorderly and dusty. And since one of my fellow cubemates had cleaned up his area last week, and I was envious of his new cleanliness, I figured I'd clean mine up.
Oh, and later in the day this article would prove me right.
Anyhow, after a lot of throwing-away-of-stuff, and moving-of-stuff, I got to the hardest bit, the "behind the monitor" bit. It was behind the monitor I noticed something not quite right. Something... alive. Different, yet familiar.
It seems that some idiot, some complete and total moron had dumped some fish food behind my monitor. In retaliation for something I did, he claims. I don't buy it tho'.
Anyhow, if you mix fishfood, coca-cola residue, and the heat given off by rope lights, you get life. To be precise, you get some sort of mold. After wiping out this new life, I decided that I must have revenge.
Cut to lunchtime, and the dollar store. There they sell this stuff called "Lusty". It's 32 oz. (2 pounds) of cheap hair gel. I figured I'd just slime up his monitor, keyboard, and fridge. And then we'd be even.
But a funny thing happened on the way to the sliming. One of my drones theorized that if you soaked a tissue in the gel, shoved in into a nerf gun, then launched it, wonderful things would happen. And they were oh-so-right. Upon launch, gel shoots out in a umbrella pattern behind the tissue, and the tissue explodes on impact, and shoots this sticky and nasty tissue/gel shrapnel everywhere. One shot turned a file cabinet into a horrible, sticky mess.
So I didn't slime much in retaliation, that he knows of at any rate. But with this nerf gun, gel combination, it's like having a nuclear weapon. There's no defense, no possible counter. The hair gel has swung the balance of power in the cubes. And like the atomic bomb, you can't turn back the clock. We've stepped into the "gel age".