I hate expansion packs. The entire idea that I should spend additional money to add a few features to a game I already own is silly to me. So I never buy them.

Or do I? At Best Buy the other day, I picked up the Tropico: Trouble in Paradise expansion pack. But I didn't mean to. I thought I was actually picking up Tropico. The game where you're a dictator of a carribean island. It seemed like something I may pursue in the future as a career, so I figured the game would be good training.

But I got the expansion pack. When I got it home and looked at it, the phrase "Requires Tropico to play" seemed to mock me. It sat on my dining room chair, laughing at me, mocking me. It humiliated me. It made me feel inadequate.

Until I bought the full game. Which I did last nite. Didn't install the expansion pack, but the game itself rocks.

After about 20 minutes of playing the game, I figured out very quickly that you need to pay your soliders better than the farmers. Otherwise they turn on you. With the cry of "muerte el gringo", my palace was on fire, and my reign of enlightement over. My soldiers had turned on me. Traitorous dogs.

So my second time around I made sure to pay the soliders well. That worked out okay, they killed any civilians that dared to turn on me. I put up some fishing villages, had the farmers grow cash crops, and money was pouring in. Built some housing, and everything was fine.

Then I put up some luxury hotels. And made lots of cash. Put up more luxury hotels, made more cash. But the whole time I'm doing this, the option to put up a cheap hotel bugged me. Isn't that what I'd really want? A cheap hotel and a boatload of college students? Pubs and Mardi Gras? People filming girls gone wild on tropico? Bikinis? I think so. So why did I cater to the over 50 crowd?

On the plus side, I got a nice statue of myself for the town square. The citizens regard me as a wise and enlightened ruler. I shall restart the game tonite, taking all of my experience into account, and build the perfect resort island. With statues. And cheap bars and pubs. Someone tell the girls gone wild folks.