So yeah, the other night, I was heading home, and I was passing by a shopping center that was kind of close to the old working pit. (Note: The original working pit location, before they got all corporate). And I had to stop at the drug store, so I ventured into the shopping center. We used to eat at this shopping center every once in a rare while, and it was in this very shopping center that my love of Dollar Stores began.

Of course, I had to go in. This was the store that years ago I was first introduced to dollar store shaving technology. At that time it was a normal looking razor blade, but with a really thick handle, and some sort of motor. Like, think a motor strapped to your normal Mach III shaver, with the head moving back and forth. Then wonder why anyone would purchase it. Then theorize how quickly they pulled it off the market when someone opened up their jugular with it.

For some reason I didn't purchase it. You might think my not purchasing it makes sense. You'd be wrong.

Cut to the final resting place of my old company, Dimstar. It was kinda close to a mall. And in this mall was a dollar store. You knew that was coming, right? And in this dollar store I saw newer and more advanced dollar shaving technology. This unit was battery powered (by Okkiado's), and consisted of a motor which spun around a razor blade under a metal grille. You really can't imagine how deadly the whole contraption was. I'd share a picture, but the bastards didn't give it back to me when they farmed my job to the indochina region.

Back to the present... I went into the dollar store the other night, hoping to find the original shaking razor blade thingy. I couldn't find it, but I did find this..

The picture really doesn't do it justice. It's kind of the same as the battery powered razor, but this bad boy runs on pure squeeze power. You can see the inner workings in action with a video clip right here. I don't know if you can really make out the details of the blades, but they're not what I'd call clean. Or healthy looking.

Basically, you have to power this thing by constantly squeezing it, and while doing that you have to move it *smoothly* up and down your face and hope it shaves your whiskers off without removing your skin.

Good freakin luck. I had this on my chin for 2 seconds and the pain had me yelping like a puppy.

I can see where this kind of razor/shaver would be a hit tho. It may suprise my fellow yanqui readers to find out that there a lot of places on this earth that don't have electricity. A lot of the indochina region (which begs the question, how the hell are they doing my coding), a lot of africa, baghdad, East Orange, NJ. In places like these, okay warzones like these, if you need to shave, who's going to notice the few extra cuts and nicks caused by this hellish little baby?