Every day when I leave work, I have this little ritual. I turn into whichever talk radio station to get the scoop on which roads are backed up. And I'm amazed at how often I hear the phrase "traffic is backed up due to an overturned SUV".

I don't really have to wonder why they tip over so often, I see the reasons every day. You've probably got some SUV owner on a long curved exit ramp, getting passed by smaller cars. Dipshit owner gets upset... he's got the "cool and rugged" vehicle ya see, so he'll mash the gas to keep up with the flow of traffic. Within seconds, the curve and speed start to make the truck unstable, owner panics and tries to correct, and you have one hell of a wipeout.

Note to SUV owners: the reasons we rip by you on the highway are many. Your cars are slow. They shift lanes whenever a strong gust of wind hits them. Call us car folk (read: smart people) nuts, but the idea of your 7300 pound vehicle (Expedition) vehicle coming at our cars terrifies us. Despite that, if you were to hit us, statistics show you'd suffer more damage. Call our passing you a show of concern for your safety.

SUV drivers, wake the hell up. You're driving a freakin U-Haul with leather and cruise control. And with a third of the room. That's all it is. It's a TRUCK for fuck's sake. Stop with the "I bought it to be safe" or the "I bought it for the room" bullshit. You bought it because you *think* it's cool. You're in either in denial, or just stupid, because testing shows SUVs are NOT as safe as cars. And you're absolutely in denial about the room thing. Let's take a look, shall we?

So let's review, SUV owners. You're paying 6,500 more for something that has less space and is slower. Hrm. FYI: The caravan can tow 2,000 pounds on a trailer. Please don't tell me your jetski weighs more than that. OH? You don't ever tow anything? Figures...

OH! That whole 4WD makes driving in snow and rain so much safer. Then how come I see so many SUVs stuck on the side of the road in the snow? Could it be that whole tipping thing? Could it be that what you really mean is AWD makes driving in snow and rain much safer, and 4WD on trucks isn't really that effective because you don't have enough weight on the rear wheels. Yeah, I thought that's what you might have meant.

So guys... the cool thing... it ain't there. You're just a bunch of dorks driving overpriced trucks.

FYI: For some fun, head on over to the highway saftey crash test results on trucks. Look at the popular models. Count how often you see comments like "High probability of thigh injury" or "Door became unlatched". Laugh at the very very poor rollover ratings (I'm talking to you Explorer/Expedition owners). Scratch your head when people talk about buying these trucks for "safety reasons".